Writing Monkey Blog

Will write for food (but a little respect would be nice too)

2007-11-05T11:24:00.001-05:00

So here I am, trying to eke out a living as a jobbing writer. I've got several projects on my plate, but I'm always looking for the next thing. The last thing I want is to clear all my projects and not have anything left to work on. But let me tell you, it can be a sad, soul-destroying endeavor. The jobs advertised usually break down into the following:

The "I/We Need Content" Ads

Now the kicker here is that many of these publications and sites are looking for you to donate for free. Presumably they are businesses, sell advertising so they are earning, and yet they want to get the thing that makes the advertisers buy space, for free. That's like opening a grocery store and asking General Mills, Birdseye, et al to give you stock for your shelves. For free.

The "I have an idea" ads.

These are great. The ad is usually based around someone who has an AWESOME! idea that will make a great novel or movie or both. They've had the idea for years and have finally decided to make it a reality. They just need someone to do the actually work involved. What these folks, I suspect in naivety, fail to realize is that anyone who writes has idea. I have so many ideas I know I will never get to work them all because I also have to do the work that brings them to life. (Hmmmm, given my idea stockpile, maybe I should run a few of those ads and see if I can get someone to write them!)

And what do these folks offer in return? Sometimes it's "You get paid when we make the deal in Hollywood!" Sometimes, they'll be more specific and offer a 60:40 split of whatever it makes - obviously the split it is their favor (HEY! They did come up with the idea! All you have to do is the actual work.)

The "I have a term paper due tomorrow" ads.

And I'll pay someone $100 to write it for me. Lest you think this person is a cheat, they will usually include a specific rider that the work you do for them MUST be original and NOT plagiarized.

There are other types of ad. These are just my current top three favorites. I tell ya, it ain't easy trying to earn a crust.

But it's better than digging a ditch.

2007-09-12T07:56:00.001-04:00

I've been sick

2007-08-22T17:50:00.000-04:00

Does anyone know a good cure for a stinking cold?

The medicines don't do much good and I feel terrible.

The Con is on

2007-08-07T12:44:00.000-04:00

It’s con season. Recently I’ve been to two cons that couldn’t have been more different.

The first was the Paramount Comic Con in Bristol, Tennessee (or Virginia, depending on which side of the street you’re on). I was there with the good folks of Hard Way Studios, with whom I’ve written a couple of comics and have a couple more in the pipeline. We were the only Comic Company there, with the dozen or so other tables being taken by comic dealers and stores from the surrounding area.

Paramount was small, and located in the foyer of an old cinema. If you’re looking for style and ambiance, that was the place. It was the kinda con where mostly locals show up and anyone who works in comics is a superstar. A couple of people showed up in costume (Red Sonia being the most visible - in every sense) and the entire thing had a great relaxed vibe. It was maybe slower than other cons I’ve been to, but then the night before there had been a release of a small book you might have heard about - Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. But the entire thing was relaxed, and the folks who showed up (even the ones with dark circles under their eyes from an intense bout of all-night reading) were great.

The second con couldn’t have been more different. The International Comic Con in San Diego.

WOW!

Everything was just so... WOW!

It’s like the Super Bowl and World Cup of Comic Cons and I was not planning on going. About six months ago I looked into attending, but the closest hotel I could find, with available rooms, where I didn’t need to take out a mortgage to rent a room, was in Reno. And then the wonderful folks at Viper Comics* stepped up and offered me a hotel room.

I’d been warned ahead of time it was big, and it would be busy, but nothing really prepares you for that. All the major companies are there and tons of the smaller indie publishers. But best of all, you get to just wander around, soak it all in and talk with others in the business. Better, you’re surrounded by the love. Pretty much everyone there visits for one reason, they love comics, sci-fi, fantasy and everything that floats around that. And if you’re there selling or promoting your books, there’s plenty of that love coming your way.

I’ll admit now that I’d been a little worried about the nerd factor (granted, I’m one, but I think I’m one of the more socially adjusted ones), but come on, how can you NOT crack when folks come up and ask for your autograph, or just want to stop by and tell you how much they enjoy your work.

These folks will stand in line, for hours on-end, under a baking South California sun and nothing dulls their enthusiasm. They burst into the con itself, and the wave of lovin’ just crashes over everything. And I gotta give major props to the folks in costumes. I was wearing a t-shirt and shorts and I was melting; some of these guys had on the most amazing costumes, some obviously self-made with incredible skill, and there they were, in character and sharing the love.

Both cons were awesome in different ways. But the one thing that remained constant was the fans of comic books. You guys† are the best.

* Jessie Garza and the whole gang at Viper Comics are just a class act all round. Now that’s great for me, because I had a blast. What’s good for everyone else is their stable of books are all awesome. Not a bad one in the bunch and those guys work real hard to make sure that when you pick up a Viper book, you know it’ll be quality.

† Guys in the inclusive 'all mankind' including womankind kinda way.

Welcome

2007-08-06T09:52:00.001-04:00

Welcome to the inaugural flight of the Writing Monkey Blog. Please make sure your seats are in the upright position; tray-tables are closed and locked; and check that all carry-on luggage is safely stowed. Familiarize yourself with the exit closest to you (if you’re on a Mac, it’s the BACK BUTTON or the RED RADIO BUTTON - if you’re on a PC, just wait a couple of minutes and your computer will probably crash anyways).

My webmaster told me that folks keep swinging by the website, checking it out, then scooting along to Ebay, Craigslist, or porn sites (oh yeah, my webmaster knows where you’ve been clicking - I hope you wash your hands when you’re finished) when they don’t find anything new. So to hopefully remedy this, and give people the chance to kickoff their shoes and stay a while, I’m gonna start this blog.

There should be something new every week (or so). Hopefully it’ll be interesting, humorous, or at the very least libelous. If it’s the later of those options, I’ll start a new blog called Legal Monkey, where I’ll recount my adventures in the great American legal system.

Now, the captain has switched on the "No Smoking" sign and we have clearance to leave the gate. Thank you for flying Writing Monkey Blog.